Emotional Wounds from the Past
In the coaching industry, I hear a lot of talk of visibility wounds. These are emotional wounds from the past that cause us to feel unsafe when being seen, to play small as a means to protect ourselves, and can stop us from standing in our power and speaking our truth. This can be a problem, or rather an opportunity for healing and growth when you are trying to build and grow a business from the ground up.
I have experienced these visibility wounds first hand, in myself and in my clients. It has popped up so much that it is a major part of my coaching, to help heal emotional and visibility wounds.
Entrepreneurship will bring out visibility wounds that have been stored deep down. Sometimes we don’t even know we have them until we embark on the journey to truly live in our purpose, to live our dream lives.
Visibility wounds pop up when we go to put ourselves out there, but then find out that doing so causes responses such as anxiety, panic, and fear. Visibility wounds jab us in our confidence and feeling safe to be seen.
In my own experience, I found that the abuse I experienced in my teenage years, lead me to make a subconscious vow to view everyone and anyone as a potential predator. How did this impact me later in life? It was hard to learn to trust again. To trust in my relationships, and my business was not immune to this wound. How could I grow a business with a lack of trust in people? Exploring my past wounds, the vows I made through them, and choosing new ones is what opened me up to experience truth. To open up to allow myself to build deep, trusting, supporting relationships, not just in my business, but in my personal life.
Vows from Past Experiences
When we are wounded emotionally, we make vows. Some of these vows are make consciously. Someone may remember the day they vowed to never again ask for help from anyone. Some of these vows we make subconsciously. Over time, someone may make a vow to never be vulnerable because they were shamed time and time again for showing that part of them. It seeped into the subconscious and they learned to shut down instead.
Making New Vows
We can choose now to make new vows to ourselves. It’s safe to break the old ones and create new ones that will help you step into your own truth and power. Get out your journal and ask yourself these 4 questions
- What vows have I made in the past that are keeping me playing small?
- How have they kept me safe?
- How have they held me back?
- What new vows can I make to myself?
For example, a vow to be perfect and if you’re not, you feel disappointed and are very self-critical; you only deserve that thing you want (love, health, money…) if you’re perfect, or pretty damn close.
New vow: I vow to love my self and show myself grace when I make mistakes. I vow to talk to myself with love. I do not have to be perfect, no one is. I vow to always remember. I deserve all my desires just as I am. I am human.
Deann Rae Jensen
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